Mission Call!

I apologize. This is a much belated update, but I got my mission call last week!! I have been called by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to serve in the Korea Busan mission. My dad served in the same mission! And get this: I leave on January 14th! That's in 30-something days. My goodness. Talk about hurried.

So basically right now I'm all about final papers, finals studying, immunizations, appointments with various leaders, and will soon be doing a lot of clothes shopping. (It's time to get the tent skirts!) Life will be pretty great tonight if I get my three papers done. Ahem. I mean WHEN! Then I can cross off Martin Luther's 95 THESES (I have to keep reminding myself my paper is about the work, not the man), a great historical figure from Roman history yet to be determined (that one is short), and find a map of Belgium clearly showing the separate regions of Wallonia and Flanders (Wikipedia simply won't cut it!). Then it's back to studying for finance and I can begin freaking out about what looks like a mondo-hard take-home essay final for my humanities class. Yippee!

Life is good. And oh-so busy. Thank goodness for Friday (of next week!) That's when all things must come to an end. It is coming so soon!!

Je vais partir cette endroit....

Hey all!

To those of you who still read (haha, I'm not terribly regular!), I thought you should know that I'm leaving on a jetplane! No. But kind of! I turned in my papers to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In a few months, I'll be gone for a year and a half in who-knows-where! For those of you have been talking to me lately, I've been considering this for a few months, but finally finished up my papers with my stake president on Sunday. And I feel great about it! I love the gospel and am excited to have this opportunity to share it with others.

I'm one of those girls who never wanted to go on a mission growing up. No really. It was not in the plan. But coming to BYU, maturing, and figuring out what is really important has changed that. What better way to show your love of God than through service? I know it won't be a breeze. It will be challenging but also a great learning experience. I'm not quite sure what to expect, but I love talking to returned missionaries the best. Girls who have served missions are amazing!! (Yes that includes you, JENN!)

Well, cat's out of the bag. Such a relief!

Rather lengthy but for good reason!

Hello all!

No word yet on my big decision. I've kind of run into a brick wall as far as appointment-making goes, but I'll keep you updated! In other news, I try to avoid getting political on here because that tends to get you in trouble with at least one other person, but I'm going to write about something that is really important to me that has been a huge news topic. It doesn't get any more unsurprising than this! Proposition 8.

I may not live in California anymore, but I hope living there for 17 years qualifies me to say that I was vested in this decision that California voters recently made. When voters passed a statute eight years ago that marriage should be between a man and a woman, that was not enough. The California Supreme Court still overturned that decision because they said it was unconstitutional. Well, now California citizens have voted in favor of amending the constitution. If it's IN the Constitution, it cannot be unconstitutional, right? And if the people have voted for it, then it's not just some arbitrary decision made by a few judges, right? Ahem, California Supreme Court. Do we the people actually have in a say? And by we, I mean California citizens, which technically I am not, but I wish I could have voted! I read a letter by someone who suggested that judges, in their position of authority, should be trusted to make the decision of what is best for the people. What?? If there is anything that modern politics has taught us, it's that blindly trusting our leaders in authority is absolutely the wrong thing to do! There is a huge difference between showing respect for someone in authority and agreeing with the choices they make. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have a few people decide what is the best choice for 37 million people in an extremely divisive issue. Let them decide for themselves!!

So why am I on this heated topic? I got a message from an old friend asking me (and that includes dozens of other friends) to email Gov. Schwarzenegger on the government website and ask him to recognize the validity of Proposition 8. Contrary to popular belief, I am not terribly naive, and especially not enough to think that Gov. Schwarzenegger will actually read this, but hopefully someone sees it. (Or at least the abundance of messages just like it.)

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,

Please uphold Proposition 8. In a slight but clear majority, 52.2% of residents have voted that California's constitution should be amended to state that marriage is between a man and a woman. Since propositions in favor of traditional marriage have now passed TWICE, there should be no doubt as to how the majority of the populace feels. It is so important that California uphold this decision now, before marriage is robbed of its traditional sanctity and importance in our culture. Please help us to assert that this decision was not a mistake, that this new addition to the constitution is something that the state of California will adhere to. California is a very influential state in the union, and I worry that if this hard fought battle were to turn back in the other direction, other states will follow suit, allowing gay marriage without letting the PEOPLE determine whether they want it or not. There can be no confusion as to the legality of Proposition 8. This proposition has become a part of the constitution precisely because the majority of people have voted in favor it. Ignoring this fact will negate the idea that the state of California is representative of a democratic nation. Please show supporters of Proposition 8, other California residents, and the nation that the state of California has upheld the definition that marriage is between a man and a woman. We cannot allow a few judges to decide what is best for the people of California. We asked that the people decide, and they have made their decision.

Thank you for your time, and best of luck!

Let me explain why this particular issue is so important to me. Why my family, friends, and church find it so important. Marriage and family is the glue of society. The most thriving communities are those that place great importance on the family. Why should marriage be just between a man and a woman? Because it is not just some legal agreement between two people stating that their assets and benefits are now combined. Think back, way back to the time when marriage was just between a man and a woman. Logically it makes sense. Procreation can only happen between a man and a woman. There is no way around that. If marriage is the glue of the family, and a family comes of procreation, and procreation can only occur between a man and a woman, then one can see the reason for marriage between a man and a woman. Why not for same-sex couples? Precisely for the same reason, that traditionally, in all cultures, marriage has been between a man and a woman capable of procreation and creating a family. Whether or not a man and a woman actually have children is not the point. The point is that in the most natural sense, a family can only come out of the union of a man and a woman. Thus marriage, in the most natural sense, can only mean that between a man and a woman.

From a religious point of view, I think that if God meant for men to be married to men, and women to be married to women, he would have provided them with the capability of creating children within that union. Whether someone is gay or not does not matter to me at all. What I do care about is that we preserve the sanctity of marriage and show that this is not an uninformed, outdated tradition. Marriage is timeless, and as such, its place in society needs to be respected. My parents and grandparents have shown to me through their marriages what it really means to be a married couple. It is apparent to me they truly love each other, support each other as husband and wife, and are committed to raising their children together. That is the marriage we need today. Let's preserve its place while we still can.

Roma, how I miss thee!

Exactly one year ago yesterday,I was in Rome, my last day, being amazed by the magnificent ruins (including the Coliseum). There I was, saying things like Buongiornio principessa, arrevederci, gelato, and several ice cream flavors, the near extent of my Italian vocabulary. On that lovely trip, we reenacted scenes from Roman Holiday (gelato on the Spanish steps, wishing at the Trevi fountain, trying not to get hit by Italian drivers, and running through cobblestoned streets in the pouring rain at dusk to get our share of free pasta at the hostel- oh wait, that might have just been us). We went to Vatican City and were blown away, stayed until closing, and were shooed out by the guards along with the rest of the crowd while we (I) desperately tried to find the touch of Adam and God's fingers on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Impossible I tell you! Here was our first and only encounter with Italian ballet, a production to the Peer Gynt Suite by Grieg that we saw at my recommendation (because of the music I tell you. The music!) Turns out you need to get a little story background to prepare yourself for things like this. I loved ( that is to say, was desperately confused) by the moments when random frightening creatures would rush out on stage, dance in frantic circles around the characters on stage, and rush back out again. And the man in the story was a treat. His character was rather odd. But that's another story!
We walked (practically ran) for miles, made friends with people from all over the world. We (I) shared excitement at seeing the geography of France on an ancient Roman map with a French couple in the Vatican museum (en francais, je pense!). We marveled at the colors of the buildings (a huge difference from Parisian architecture), and snapped pictures all the while. And e felt right at home when we found out there was a metro strike (we had two very memorable and lengthy strikes at home in Paris). At the end of the trip, we were exhausted, but in completely and unabashedly in love with yet another foreign city. And we were excited to go back home. Yes, we considered Paris home. I cannot describe how accustomed I grew to the way of life there. It's odd to think of now, but I really felt a rooted connection to that city and my life in it. Could I replicate that again? I would love to say yes, but who is to know? C'est une grand question.

By the way, "we" was Stephanie, Kylie, Janna, Vanessa, and me. Oh what fun we had!

So cute. The clip below is from an episode of How I Met Your Mother from several months ago. I've only seen it once, and luckily that once included this scene! It's pretty much everything a girl could wish for in a date. Unfortunately, the last part is cut out, but you'll get the gist of it. Watch and enjoy!



Isn't that cool? I kind of wish that I could have a two-minute date too :)
Of course, real life probably wouldn't work out as smoothly as this does on-screen. Ha!

Sentimentality is my middle name!

I love the fall. It's getting a bit late for this post, but I can't let something minor like the changing of seasons stop me! Autumn to me is red, gold, orange. Leaves. Beautiful, bright, and large leaves. dark and crunchy leaves. an after-rain mush of moisture, mud, and leaves. (Leaves are obviously an integral part of this equation). Whether they be up above, lightly floating down, or in need of crunching below, they are simply amazing.


I have thoroughly enjoyed watching the transformation over the past several weeks, and was shocked to realize that I haven't documented this lovely change. Well, not too shocked. Remembering to charge batteries has been a bit much for me to think about as of late. But I did snap one on my cell phone. I LOVE technology for this very reason. And I was listening to music on it at the same time!


But I digress. Back to the pure beauty of nature. It makes me feel fresh, content, and sentimental. The sentimental has been getting to me more than anything since the last autumn I experienced was in Paris. I can't take credit for the picture below (taken in Paris) but it captures how I feel about this. To me, it conveys a melancholy longing but also serves as a reminder of cherished memories, of wonderful bygones. It is a beautiful thing, a memory. While not all memories may be lovely, we at least have the great ones from which we recall the best of times.


Oh gosh. My shuffle has tapped into this mood and is playing all things applicable. The one that always brings tears to my eyes, though, is Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Try it out. Seriously. I know you'll love it.


So please enjoy the seasons. Winter is going to be a difficult one for me, but it too will come and go. This year has gone by much too fast. Let's not let the other ones run amok too, when before we know it time is almost up and we still have yet to do all those things set aside for "someday." Make today someday. Love today! (even if it is snowing...)

Turning the Corner

So this is my pivotal semester. This is it! I'm in my fourth year at BYU, yet at times must still deny freshman status. I blame it on my youthful appearance and honestly, I leave about five minutes for makeup in the morning. So no fancy age-defining face coming from my direction. But as my CA high school psychology teacher wisely said, "You can either look old when you're young, or young when you're old. If you look old when you're young, then you're going to look even older when you're old. But if you look young when you're young, then you get to look young when you're old too."
I know, I know. I was stunned by the genius of this statement too. Mr. Curran had quite the way with words. And for the record, I'm pretty sure he was old(er). And even more so now...

But my point is that here I am in my fourth year of college. It doesn't get any more pivotal than this. I kind of made a huge decision that it's still a little difficult to wrap my head around. I know it's the right choice. If I were to completely re-evaluate my whole life, I would not have it go in any other direction. It's just hard to make that first step, to say yes, I am doing this. This is not only a good decision for some people to make, this is the best decision I can make right now. It's amazing to reflect on the past and see how we got to where we are. It's a process. I'm one of those people who doesn't particularly love change but dislikes doing the same thing for too long. Well, a paradoxical outlook equals a paradoxical life, right? What does that mean for the future? I'm not sure. I look at our country and have no idea what is in store. We're at a crossroads- me, you, the country, the whole world. All in the same position yet so far from each other. It's the ultimate inescapable paradox.

I must get some shut-eye, but I promise this is going somewhere. Just wait and see!

Relief Society :)

I feel at peace today. This tranquility will most likely not carry on through the rest of the week (one word: school), but at least there is today. I am just grateful for so much.

Today in church we had our first relief society meeting. It is comprised of half of the girls in the ward and I think it's going to be great this year! Everyone is sincerely intent on getting to know the others and creating unity within the group. I had the impression today of how thankful I am for such a strong network of women. And I was struck by the distinct contrast between men and women. Women are predisposed to nurturing, compassion, and the like. Not to say that men don't have that, but it just seems to be so prevalent among women. I think that's why it's so important to us to feel that we have deep friendships that involve mutual trust and care. That is what we live for! I don't know how men feel, I've never been a man, but girls find that to be incredibly important. That is why we care so much when we "fight" with other girls: we're emotionally invested in those relations.

Love Them Allergies

It's been a while, but guess what? I finally went to the allergist a few weeks ago! It was a very informative visit. I got to tell him about the whole jogging/hives incident and mentioned that I had eaten an hour before I went jogging, which was unusual. He asked excitedly, "What did you eat??" I laughed. My summertime dinners are never really planned out. They just kind of happen. "Well, I started out with celery and peanut butter. . ." I might as well have told him that I discovered the secret to black holes in the universe. He got so excited! He told me all about this allergist convention where they learned about a study of the exact same thing. Celery and jogging combination- not the best. So then I was tested. . .

So that's it- I'm allergic to celery! Semi-allergic, anyway. I eat it cooked and. . .nada. That's about as random as it gets, especially since most people don't think twice about it, and this summer it was my chosen vegetable.

Sometimes life deals the oddest hand. :)

My Country

I feel bad. I last wrote on Thursday (9/11), and I didn't say anything about the anniversary. But I did think about the many people affected by that tragedy on Thursday. To think how much has changed in seven years is unbelievable. There is so much I could say about that, but I wouldn't even know where to start. I love my country. It's not perfect, and it could definitely use some work, but it's mine. And I think many Americans would agree that they would like to build it up, to find strength in a nation which we love dearly. That may sound terribly idealistic, but what can I say? I'm an idealist. It may not be pragmatic, but it helps me remember why we're in this, what it is we're aspiring to become.

So...there you go. God bless the U.S.A.!

And also, I hope that things turn out okay in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike in Texas. Especially for my awesome brother and sister-in-law. I love you Brandon and Jenn!

The Brief Penguin Handbook, except not in the slightest

Oh my goodness. Time, time, where has it gone? School started eight days ago and I've been running to and fro since. If I'm not in work or classes, I am studying (or at the very least should be!). Efficiency and time well spent is of the utmost importance, and I am still working on that (obviously, as I'm taking time to write this before delving into the Odyssey!). But enough of the parenthetical sidenotes. Let me relate something I read that changed my life just today.

"Life is like some crazy machine that is always going either too slow or too fast. From the cradle to the grave we alternate between the Sargasso Sea and the rapids, forever either becalmed or stormtossed. It seemed to Maud, as she looked across the dinner-table in order to make sure for the twentieth time that it really was George Bevan who sat opposite her, that, after months in which nothing whatever had happened, she was now living through a period when everything was happening at once. Life, from being a broken-down machine, had suddenly begun to race."
-From A Damsel in Distress by P.G. Wodehouse

I sat down at the table, opened my book that I was oh so close to finishing before starting school, and saw my life strung out in words on the pages before me. How perfectly this passage describes the bridge between summertime and the ever-growing load that is school in the fall. This fall will be great, don't get me wrong, but it will also be a lot of work. Rome wasn't built in a day. No really, it wasn't. More like several hundred years, as I'm learning in my Roman history class!!

So that's a little update on school life, but as for the end of the summer, let me just say that it was amazing! The weekend before last I went to Liberty Land with Alyse, Jocelyn, and their mom and sister. I'm not going to lie- I loved the roller coaster. And little boats from which you soak your friends. It was great! The next day I floated down the Provo River with Alyse, Jocelyn, and a few guys. That was when I discovered that I have an indescribable magnetism to the scraggly growth on the sides of rivers. Who knew? Rapids only aid in that regard, unfortunately. Don't worry, we survived, even during the two hours following the river when we discovered Jordan's keys had been unceremoniously swallowed up by the raging waters. Why oh why? But it was kind of fun, hanging out and realizing how useless cell phones are in an emergency if they're all locked in the car. Why, you ask? I mean, besides the fact that you can't actually use the cellphones? Well just tell me how many phone numbers YOU now know off the top of your head and get back to me! Mine is a slightly helpless generation. But we're working on it :)

I have so much more to say, so I will be back!

Also, why the title? I dislike naming things, and when I tapped the title bar it came up with the penguin handbook. If you're not in college, you might not know that that is actually a book on writing citation. It's lovely. And it's on sale for twenty bucks. Come on, you know you want it!

Thoughts on a splendid day.

Today was a fun day. (Well, minus certain work hours of a certain job which is certainly not that other job). I started, rather continued a journey to find my true career potential, got a couple of books from the library (yay!) I had some trouble over the last few weeks finding a book, and was rather disappointed by one I had been particularly excited about. But just coming back from vacation, full of lake/riverside reading, I am prepared to be busy rediscovering the beauty of reading this and that. Before fall nonsense sets in, anyway.

Anyway, Jana, Laura, Chris and I also longboarded down the canyon tonight. Twice! Rather they longboarded and I scooted along on Jana's Razor. (I prefer to have a strong grip on whatever is moving me along). I felt a bit like a little sister, tagging along with the big kids and trying to join in on all the fun. Jana, Laura, and Chris have all gotten to be pretty good at longboarding, so I really was trailing behind most of the time. Being pretty much a pro at the Razor, everything was amazing and went off without a hitch. Ahem. Come on guys, you know me better than that! Actually, 95% of the time I was completely in control, showing that razor who was boss. Ha! And I had gone down the canyon once before: no problema. But...at the end of tonight's runs, I was going down the hill too fast for the parking lot turnoff. Rather than think of any number of other methods for stopping (don't suppose you've ever tried a Razor brake on a slope- impossible), I decided to jump and run which had been quite successful in the past. Not so all the time. I'm a bit scraped up all over, although my left knee got the brunt of it. But it's just a scrape, not a limp, so I think it'll be juuuust fine.

After that, Jana, Laura, and I tried out a new pizzeria in Orem that we had all heard a few somethings about. Best part of it? The bathroom to which I made a beeline so that I could clean up a little from the Razor experience. Hey, it was a really cool bathroom! I liked the sink. (wooden, I think?) Very modern- in a good way. We thought the food was alright but too pricey. Maybe a little less style, a little more emphasis on food? Perhaps burnt pizza crust is not such a good idea. Perhaps. But I have to give the place credit for its atmosphere. That was great!

Then, when I got back to the apartment, I decided to practice for this musical number my mom, sister, and I are working on. The mother/daughters trio is reunited! My mom and sister play the violin, and I play the piano, so my mom loves finding pieces for us to play together. This, of course, happened much more before I moved out a few years ago. My mom always "chokes up" and says that it's her dream for us to all play together. You'd think the idea had never crossed our minds, much less the actual reality. But Chelsea and I appease her and it's nice to have another excuse to work on a neglected pastime. Practicing and sightreading at my grandma's house this past week must have loosened up my fingers because some of my pieces from high school flowed more smoothly than it's been in a long time. And when you're a slightly discouraged and practice-lacking pianist, that is huge. It reminds me why I love the piano and music in general. It's a type of expression that is simply irreplaceable. Someone could play a piece uniformly, but it is when she really brings emotion into it that the music can be moving and provoke meaningful, individualistic responses from the audience and the performer herself. That's why some songs make you smile, cry, get pumped up, or feel...anything. I love that. It's beautiful.

On that note, bonne nuit!

Dunh dunh dunh...

Wow.  This blog is starting to look like my childhood journal: littered with forgotten promises of writing regularly.  The journal actually turned into somewhat of a record.  For some reason, with each returning entry after a prolonged period of absence, I felt it necessary to update the journal with the ages and happenings of the many people in my family.  I suppose I could do that now, but then I just might relapse into other habits, like forgetting to tell important stories.  And I simply can not allow that to happen, can I?

Important story #1:  A few weeks ago I was going to relate a fairly exciting incident that happened to me the day before.  Then I thought better of it and didn't, since it might not be what my mother would call "dinner table appropriate".  Well now, I've thought better of it again and will share the gist of it, primarily because nothing else exciting could replace the prepared space for a thrilling story.  How's that for honesty, eh?

Allow me to set the scene:  It's early on a Friday evening.  Feeling void of substantial exercise that week, I decide to go for a quick jog before that night's activities are to begin.  Now calling this a jog is a bit of a stretch.  Before letting anyone (namely my wonderfully athletic roommate) see the state of my current exercise routine, I make sure they know that LAST summer was simply the best I have ever been, why the me of LAST summer would be running circles around current me!

(I'll have you know that a large black spider with far superior speed than I could ever hope to acquire has now skittered across my grandmother's desk twice.  For that very reason, I have relegated myself to typing on her wooden chair and am praying that it won't return from whatever crevice it may be hiding in.  Yes, I am 21 years old and am hiding from a spider.  Well, was.  I'm back up.)

So anyway, back to Friday three weeks prior.  I went out for a jog in the beautifully maintained college residential area of Provo.  No, no, that must have been my fantasy self.  I was out and about in the typicality of student living- mostly fairly to barely decent complexes and houses, with a few over-the-top affairs to mix things up, keeping the social strata strong.  I ran into a friend as I looped back in the direction of my apartment.  As we walked together, I noticed that I began to itch both of my wrists, but I didn't think much of it.  Not until I got home and drank a glass of water while watching some people set up for a show at our complex.  That's when I saw the bumps.  Hives.  And what's more, when I got into my bathroom, I saw that my eyes were completely swollen.  My throat wasn't too far behind.  Goodness.  An allergic reaction!  To what?  I still don't know!  

All I know is that I felt like a kid with chicken pox who also got in a fight (the eyes) and also had strep (the throat).  And I was alone.  Kind of a scary thought when you're thinking, 'This could be nothing.  Then again, some people DIE from allergic reactions.'  The good news is I didn't die!  Luckily I have awesome next-door neighbors with even more awesome Benadryl, the miracle solution to most/many of your allergy needs.  And a loving mother who swept in to sweep me away to my conveniently near family home.  

So what does this add up to?  Dunh dunh dunh... Mold spores.  I haven't yet been to an allergist, but I considered foods, then pollen levels, and was led straight to mold spores.  Apparently on some days, they spread around much more than on other days.  Unfortunately for some people that might include me, that means outdoor activity on such a day must be limited, else the dreadful hives and swelling might return.

How's that?  Now I suppose I'll have to give an update when I finally traipse over to the allergist to get jabbed 32 times in the back.  Goodness.  Bon chance to the jabber.

Caught in the ebb and flow of the written word

I had almost written another blog several times before today. And I even started one once. But I always have excuses for not continuing with it- too tired, creative juices just ain't flowing, could not possibly convey the intricacies of different situations due to the boxlike nature of writing...and trust me, I could go on. But the explanation which I always claim the most is the latter one. Why try to draw something out when it is so much easier for it to sink into your brain, filling up your head with the vague shadows of memories? The answer- Because what is life if it is not the accumulation of our experiences? I hate vague shadows of funny moments, of restless tides of emotions, of so-called unforgettable experiences. When something amazing happens, I want to catalog it away, ready for those instantaneous, memory-relishing times.

...To be continued after I do some thought-sorting. And word-remembering. Dang it! But not to worry, I have an oh-so interesting story to share.

La joie de l'été

Hey guys!

Been a while, eh? I know, I know. C'est la vie. That's what spring term does to you, I guess. Talk about a load off my shoulders when I left the testing center at 8 p.m. on Thursday night! (last night of finals, baby!) I felt free and alive and fabulous. Physical Science, the last science class I'll EVER have to take (pleeease don't come back to haunt me) is OVER! Caput! Fini! Done and done.

Anyone who had the pleasure of running into me during the spring term knows how much I disliked it. But now it's great! Except for the fact that I have to job search. Oh dear. I haven't had to do that in a year and a half, and as much as I like change, I've discovered why some people stay in one position for so long. It is such a pain! Luckily I have my part-time job to hold me down for a bit.

But back to spring term being over. I love it! Hopefully one of these job apps will work out so I can end the summer unimpoverished!! (That would be ideal).

An Excellent Accompaniment to Summer 2008

What is it? The new music mix I just created, of course! I am fairly proud of it- check it out on the side of the page and enjoy the eclecticism! Of course, the music might not be to everyone's tastes-I tend to satisfy my own palate. But I like the songs on there, and that counts for something, right? It's been a good, if a semi-productive (school-wise) weekend.

Man, I love the sounds of summer. And summer itself. And the fact that it's not really summer, but it still is at the same time. This pseudo-summer will be particularly great by the time my birthday rolls around, because by then I'll be done with spring classes! (You know, the ones I just barely started...)

sweet, sentimental, and lovely

Okay, I have a dirty secret. Actually, it's neither dirty nor much of a secret. I love the You've Got Mail soundtrack. I do. Now that is something that is rife with happiness and the carefree nature of summer. Except for Harry Nilsson's version of Over the Rainbow- which is just sweet and sentimental and lovely. And bound to provoke imagery of the closing scene of the film- which is also sweet, sentimental, and lovely. The majority of songs on the soundtrack are classics that almost make you feel nostalgia for a time you never lived in. (Much to the chagrin of de Zengotita, the author of Mediated- a book with a couple of great one-liners, but not quiiite worth keeping).

So I'm not going to lie. I wrote that bit a couple of days ago and have since slided away from the You've Got Mail tangent. Far away.

I don't know what to do with myself these days. And I graduate in a year and a half. I don't know what to do with myself those days either. That's my job this summer: find my future and pratiquer mon francais. Among other things. Many other things.

Open Road

I read/wrote this waaaay back in the day (okay, a year ago) when I had another outlet for posting blogs...but I gave up on that site. I valued this article too much to give it up and just found the blog on my parents' computer (since I've spending tons of time here)! I thought it appropriate for now since I've been thinking a lot about how the future is affected by choices we make today. And also because I've actually been driving this past week. (It's a rare occurrence, my friends).

From the New York Times:

"[I]t seems to me that my generation was defined by the open road, and the accompanying hope that a promise lay at the end of it. The almost trance-like experience of driving down the soft tunnel of a dark highway at night was something I relished. At most, there would be the distant red lights of a car far ahead, and always the murmur of the glowing radio, the hiss of the tires and, at a certain speed on narrower roads, the fizzing past of telephone poles with their rhythmic whiplash.

Late at night, in most places I knew, there was almost no traffic and driving, a meditative activity, could cast a spell. Behind the wheel, gliding along, I was keenly aware of being an American in America, on a road that was also metaphorical, making my way through life, unhindered, developing ideas, making decisions, liberated by the flight through this darkness and silence. With less light pollution, the night sky was different, too — starrier, more daunting, more beautiful..." - Paul Theroux, New York Times, 12/31/06.

Finding this was completely an accident, and it would've knocked me off my feet, had I been standing. I've never heard a night drive described in a more articulate, beautiful way: "Behind the wheel, gliding along, I was keenly aware of being an American in America, on a road that was also metaphorical, making my way through life, unhindered, developing ideas, making decisions, liberated by the flight through this darkness and silence."

I am keenly aware of being an American in America. I am aware of it when I open the newspaper, homepage, whatever it be, and read of 30 fatalities resulting from a suicide bombing in Iraq, Israel, Afghanistan, what have you. I am aware when I open the paper to read a remarkably similar story the next day. And I am aware as they continue counting deaths of those Americans not lucky enough to be in America.

There are two halves to a life. There is the half of the individual, his story, his triumphs, his sorrows. From the memorable to the forgettable, and all that we wish could be forgettable, all things personally related to him are covered. It is the way he spends his time, who he spends it with, and where the time is spent. It is his dreams, his goals, his deepest thoughts and fears. His convictions. But most of all, it is him. How he defines himself, casting a shadow on other unnecessaries.

And then there is the half of the world. Sometimes, many times, this half is left behind. Some people would like to think that Iraq and its problems don't exist, or that all is well in __________. But then when it is acknowledged, where to begin? Africa, the Middle East, Asia, South America, all places have their own unique stories. And America too.

I find refuge in Theroux's words, finding hope in the idea that I, too, can be "liberated by the flight through this darkness and silence." To find escape from the collision of these worlds, and to relish in the simple beauty of the night.

Summer...

The other day I was walking to my [family/sister's] car which was parked directly south of campus. There's a story for that (and there usually is). But anyway, I happened to walk down the oh-so memorable path I took once, usually twice, every day to the complex where I stayed over the summer. It need not be named, but just know that it used to share the same awning as the plasma donation center downtown (I say "used to" because the plasma center decided it was too classy for that.) As I was trying to take graceful steps down that steep hill, I had a flashback of when I walked down with Rebecca to sign our contracts for the summer almost exactly one year before.

I had no idea what to expect from that summer. Everything was open and anything could have happened. It was the first summer I stayed "on purpose" in Provo. The year before, I moved to Provo for spring term on a whim with a friend just because the rent was dirt cheap. The second-half of that summer paled in comparison to the first. This last summer with Rebecca turned out well. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was comfortable. And now another summer approaches.

I love summer. And I am especially excited for this one. It could very well be the last summer I spend in Provo (at least I kind of hope so) and I plan to make the most out of every moment of it! To me, summer is like the beginning of a new year. It's a fresh start when you can make anything happen. Everything is a little more relaxed, the sun is shining, and people are happy. It's amazing what a breezy, sun-filled day can do to boost your morale. Those days where you could spend forever outside without a care in the world create the best memories. Unfortunately, the number of days that are truly like that steadily decrease as you get older. But even an hour of enjoying the outdoors can turn a mediocre day on its head.

What's not to love about summer? Well, it does tend to produce hot, sweaty days just when the a.c. fails. But let's not dwell on that :)

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future/present

Do you ever reflect on your life and wonder if this is where you meant to end up? Have you ever considered the way you were as a child and an adult (ha) simultaneously? I remember, as a child, thinking about all the great things that would happen when I was an adult. However, there is a tendency for children to perceive their future selves as different people from who they actually are. I am the same girl I was in kindergarten. I think that is why it is so easy to reconnect with friends from high school. You have no secret personality traits from them, for who could keep that locked up for so long?

Where am I going with this? Maybe it's time to lessen the focus (just a bit) on the future. Yes, the future is important and plans must be made. But what about the present? You have forever to fulfill the future, but only now to fulfill the present. There will always be a next week, next summer, next year- focusing on that discounts what can be done today. Not that goals are terrible; they are absolutely necessary. But a life can't be built upon possible goals. It can be built on concrete actions that will lead to the accomplishment of goals.

Intelligent Conversations

I just rediscovered this unpublished post from WAAAAY back in October after a night of hanging out with friends in a random city (Tours) in France. This particular night was one of the BEST nights of my life. And I know that Russ and Janna agree with me!

Quotes from a night of fun in Tours, France

Russ: Has anyone else ever called underwear gaunch?
..............................................................................................................

Kat: When you say came out, do you mean out of the womb?
..............................................................................................................

Alyssa: I kind of really want to work for Google when I
wake up.
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Easter potatoes

I love those times when something happens and I say, "that was awesome, I have to write it down." And I don't. Maybe sometimes I do. But not very often. Life is too short to go throughout without all the built-up hilarious moments. So I have one story and more will follow!

It's Easter. My family (and my friend Alyse) are gathered around the table. The food looks delicious, and will turn out to be, in fact, delectable. My mom wants to set the tone and adjusts the sound system. A low, droning organ tone emanates from the CD player. We all look at each other in slight confusion.
"I feel like I'm at a funeral," Dad says. Mom finds the non-deathlike Easter appropriate music and takes a seat. We all excitedly ask about the potato dish, which is a must-have at every Easter meal. It quickly transforms into a discussion about the correct terminology for said potato dish.
-"Can you pass the funeral potatoes, please?" Casey asks, knowing all too well how Mom feels about this new "Utah" phrase.
-"They're NOT funeral potatoes! This is a celebration! You can't call my potatoes that!" Mom says with exasperation.
-"What do we call them then?" Casey asks, smiling.
-"RESURRECTION potatoes!" A brilliant sibling suggests. We all laugh. And Resurrection potatoes they became.

A moment in the life of the Linford family. I love it!

Silence!

One time, during the metro strike in October in Paris, Janna and I decided to try the metro anyway because of a ward Halloween party we were excited about. The number of trains had increased significantly but the stops and train were still congested because of the Rugby World Cup. I believe Scotland was playing that night, and while we walked during our transfer, there were a ton of Scots who kept shouting out the first line of their annoying pop theme song over and over again. I finally yelled "SHUT UP!" (once I established that I was far enough away for no one to realize it was me.) A stunned silence settled over the crowd. First of all, I shouted it out in English, and second of all, the Scots probably thought that any English-speaker would be there for the cup and would therefore support the singing. They quickly recovered, however, and continued on with the first line of the internationally popular song.

I surprised myself that night. Brought silence to dozens through a voice that many people hardly ever hear. Sweet! Maybe I needed it.

YES!

Every night before I go to sleep, I look up at my ceiling where the word "YES" has been scrawled in night glo-paint. I've never asked why it's written there. The first night I moved in, I turned off the light, climbed up to bed, and there it was. Is it a self-affirmation? "YES...I have great skills, including intelligence and the ability to read upside down words on ceilings." Or perhaps it is the answer to a question: "Will you marry me?", "Can it get any better than this?", or "Is this cereal as good as I think it is?" (Demetri Martin: YESSS).
It's at a time like this, when I'm supposed to be coming up with an awesome paper topic, that a three-letter word on the ceiling can suddenly become captivating, sort of. Slightly captivating, if you will. (I'm pretty sure that's an oxymoron).

Anyway, it's hard to go wrong with YES. Especially for me, considering the question: "Should I be doing something else right now?"

YESSSS.

Monkey see, monkey do

I came home from school today with an overwhelming need to relax. So I grabbed some celery sticks and peanut butter and turned on the t.v. What was on, you ask? A Spanish-language program about the plight of starving monkeys in India. (No, as a matter of fact, I am not making this up). Since I'm fluent in Spanish (okay, now that's a lie), I decided to watch for a bit. The monkeys kept snatching things from a vegetable cart until finally a basket of apples spilled over and the owner got furious. It was very similar to Abu's antics in the movie Aladdin. It's sad what can be related to Disney movies and how I can always make the connection. (ha!) I actually remember reading an article about the monkeys in New Delhi in the Economist last year. The monkeys don't have anywhere to go because of all the developments in the city and its surrounding areas. I heard they were considering moving the monkeys to a sanctuary which sounds like it might be the best option. Save the monkeys in India! (don't hear that one a lot!) So that was a visually-enlightening 10 minutes.

life-changing icicles

This isn't related to travel...the reason why this blog was originally created. But what can I say? Travel to me now means hopping into Dad's car and scooting up and east of the I-15 to Alpine. Every once in a while. Other than that, it's Provo/Orem, baby! What small lives we transportation-less college students lead.

So I've been doing a lot of pondering lately. Okay, let's be honest, when am I not doing a lot of pondering? If you think about something for long enough, you'll begin to question the validity of its existence and try to connect the dots in a different fashion. For example, take a word. Preferably three or four syllables. Better yet, take "California." Say it 50 times and you'll begin to wonder if you're even saying it right anymore and might take the Schwarzenegger route- "CAHL-EE-FOR-NEE-AH."
By the way, I seem to have developed an online spell-checker (I don't know when these things happen). How the heck is Schwarzenegger in it and "okay" isn't? And apparently Orem should be Oreo. I'm Tokay (replacement) with that. And I should probably honor it with an Oreo shake every time I'm there. All in the name of tribute.

Anywho, this is life post-Paris. Kind of normal. Normal is Tokay; it's great. But switching things up is great too. I had all kinds of goals for my return to BYU. Unfortunately, I think I've stepped into that world of getting caught up in work/school things and having too little time for play. (I still feel like a four year old every time I talk about playing). And the thing about goals is that you actually have to take steps to accomplish them. (I know! who knew?) Life within a comfort zone leaves something to be desired. So I am switching it up a bit. Thank goodness for the life-changing inspiration that icicles can bring. The icicles lining my window are long, imperfect and jagged. At the same time, they are incredibly beautiful and mysterious. (Has anyone actually seen an icicle being formed?) Life is imperfect. There is no way around it. But it has so much potential to be beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful, I discovered the album I'm listening to (Chevrotine by Holden) at a store in Paris. The music flows over you and feels like a floating stream winding around corners bringing content to everyone it surrounds. My favorites are "Ce que je suis", "Charlie, Rosie et moi", et "Comme une fille." Ecoutez!

http://armelle.mocke.club.fr/home.htm

California Dreamin'

Thought I was gone, eh? Wrong!
I have another photo album!

California trip


Jackie and Bruce got married!


Sheri, Heather, and me


I LOVE the beach!

This last weekend I drove down to Yorba Linda with Sheri because JACKIE, our friend from middle/high school, got married!! (To Bruce, who I met for the first time at the reception). We were in Yorba Linda/Newport Beach for a grand total of 24 hrs. Kind of swooped in and out. (We're smooth like that). It was great to be able to see friends from high school and many people from my old ward. AND I went to Laguna Beach and spent 45 glorious minutes carefully kicking up the water (we went there after the temple).

On the way down, Sheri and I stayed at her grandparents' house in St. George. Her grandma got married last year to _______ (his name escapes me). He asked where I was born and my last name (Orange County, Linford) and then immediately asked if I knew "Ray Linford." That caught me a bit off guard because Raymond Linford was my great-grandfather. I've never met him (he passed away a few decades ago) and was surprised that Sheri's new step-grandfather in St. George knew him.

When we stopped in St. George on the way back, I met Sheri's second cousin Sheri. She lives in American Fork and is the neighbor of Aubrey, who was in Paris with me. What are the chances? And there was another cousin who was a good friend of my great uncle and aunt. All in all, it was a very coincidental weekend!

I loved being able to see Jackie take this next step in her life. I'm so happy for her!